Although we are brought up to believe that weddings are supposed to be a magical day of transformation into the fairy-tale happily ever after; this side of reality there is a lot of hard work, planning and stress management involved in manifesting that fairy-dream into reality – in accordance with the constraints of budgets, personal wishes and family demands.

Simply put: getting married is rated as being as stressful as losing a loved one or moving house. While a little stress can be a good kick-start, motivating action; too much stress can feel overwhelming when facing relationship issues (with just about everyone involved), big-day jitters, guest-list anxiety, venue-blues and supplier concerns … to list just a few.

Stress is a real issue and can be the cause of irritability, unpleasantness and health problems if not identified and managed properly. So, here are a few healthy tips to ensure that stress doesn’t trip you up on the your way to the aisle.

Plan

The first step to avoiding the almost inevitable wedding stress is planning. Sit down with your husband-to-be and plan your wedding the way you would jointly like it to be – it is a day of celebration for the two of you, after all. Take time to communicate your hopes and dreams, and listen carefully to what your partner has to say. If you suspect you are going to face family pressure for social or religious reasons, discuss this up front, between the two of you and decide on a course of action. List all the things you would like or would need, and put them into two categories: negotiable and not negotiable. This will help to ensure that your wedding is not hijacked by family and other well-wishers and will provide a ready structure that will allow you to be flexible where appropriate to accommodate the wishes of others.

Communicate

So you have a plan. The next step is to let everyone know what you, as a couple, would like for a wedding. You could come under a lot of pressure from well-intentioned friends and family to conform to their wishes. Right from the beginning it is important to communicate openly, and honestly - to listen and discuss – and to remember that anything you perceive as meddling in your plans is probably just that person’s way of expressing love and concern. As far as possible, stick to your plan. Sure, you will probably need to tweak it here and there, or allow for the occasional modification. If it needs a major overhaul – go back to step one: sit down with your fiance and begin the planning again.

Say no

One important indicator of stress is a feeling of losing control. It’s your wedding – your special day – and if the chaos of preparation is not going according to your plan (or your budget), you have every right to say so, and say NO. Go back to the list you drew up in the planning stage: if the item is negotiable, be flexible. If it is marked not negotiable (and you still feel that way) stand firm on the issues that are important to you – while doing your best to respect and accommodate the wishes of others. If necessary: remind others of the importance of respecting your wishes and/or financial constraints.

Delegate

There are a multitude of little things to attend to for a wedding: from invitations to menus, caterers and wedding cakes, from flower arrangements to table decorations. Doing it all yourself is virtually impossible, so if it’s on your negotiable list, or you have close friends and family who will know your taste and wishes for non-negotiables – delegate and share the potential stress load. If there is an uncle who is a wine fundi, who better to select the wines? You will also find that the more your family is involved in some small way in the preparation and planning, the less likely they are to make unsuitable suggestions.

Stay Healthy

Try to follow a balanced and healthy diet with lots of fruit and fresh vegetables, and top-up on your vitamin intake for added stress protection. Avoid crash diets and stress-induced comfort eating as much as possible. Drink plenty of fresh water and less caffeine and sugar-loaded liquids to avoid the chemical reaction that makes you more on edge than normal.

Work It Off

There’s nothing better than a good workout to lower your stress levels. Choose a form of exercise that you enjoy, and that gets your heart rate up. This will not only increase your fitness and keep you in shape, but endorphins, chemicals produced by the body after exercise, are a natural all-over-body relaxant.

Pamper Yourself

Acknowledge that you will be facing more stress and pressure than usual and make time to pamper yourself. It doesn’t have to be an expensive visit to the Spa – a do-it-at-home bath by candlelight, infused with soothing and aromatic essential oils will have you feeling like a million dollars. Lie with your feet up and relax to some soothing music, or simply take a short walk in nature. They’re all guaranteed to restore your balance, and your sense of humour.

Laugh It Off

Laughter really is the best medicine … and remember the goal of a wedding is to get married and to have a terrific wedding that you share with special people – it doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s often the quirky last minute things that go wrong that make your wedding all that more special and memorable.

If All Else Fails, Take A Deep Breath

If it’s all feeling out of control, or the last minute commitment jitters have the butterflies flying badly out of formation – just take a deep breath. Breath slowly and deeply through your nose, deep down into your abdomen. Exhale slowly. Concentrate on the task of breathing slowly and deeply – and your mind will calm, the body will relax and your world will come back under control.

This article appeared in Beautiful Brides.